Posts from — September 2008

Idioms are fun for writers but they make language learning a real challenge for everyone.

I love learning about language, words, and all that relates to writing and speaking. I took two years of Spanish in high school and seriously considered majoring in Spanish in college. When I started college, I found the school's Spanish instructor was a native of Venezuela, and more than half the Spanish class were Basques -- those mysterious and wonderful people who are natives of a mountainous region on the border of Spain and France (I think). One week of understanding nothing beyond the rapidly spoken phrase, "Senor Speer," quickly discouraged my Spanish language pursuit.

I've always been intrigued, though, about linguistics and languages. One of the things I did learn from my rudimentary Spanish studies, and my rudimentary English skills -- as well as two years of Greek in college -- is the importance of idioms: Phrase or expressions that mean something different from what the words actually say. If you aren't a native speaker of a language (in my case that language is English), it is sometimes bewildering to understand the radical differences in meaning a word or phrase has when used idiomatically. For example:

"Yeah, it was a second marriage for him. He brought a lot of baggage into it."

Means something entirely different than:

"Yeah, it was a second marriage for him. He brought a lot of luggage into it."

The words "luggage" and "baggage" are synonyms. But in this idiom, you cannot use them interchangeably. In the first sentence, the guy is carrying a lot of emotional problems, entanglements, any number of difficulties into his second marriage. In the second sentence, he apparently owns a lot of suitcases, briefcases, etc., that he can share with his new wife.

One of the real difficulties for anyone learning a language is learning the abundance of idioms in that language. As a writer, if you are writing in a language you're learning, you would do well to run your writing (see -- another idiom) past a native speaker to check out (another idiom) your idioms to be sure they ring true (one last idiom).

Some months ago, I wrote of a site called ThereTheir.com -- DON'T WRITE LIKE AN IDIOT. I had forgotten about that site until one of my readers came here searching for it and left a comment discussing the site.

When I say this is a language site that opens by berating "idiots" and language misuse, that's just what I mean. Go look for yourself. If you can't get there right how, allow me to quote the site's opening paragraph:

"You may not notice it yourself, but if you don't know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE, you come across as an idiot whenever you use them. That's right, the difference is obvious, and everyone sees it but you (and the other idiots). They are not interchangeable, and neither are THERE, THEIR, and THEY'RE, nor any of the examples explained below."

I confess I probably am not QUITE that straightforward or "harsh" about grammar and language errors, but I've often felt that way. In a world where "political correctness" seems to reign, perhaps we need to be more direct and call an idiocy an idiocy. When I wrote about the site the first time (that was here), I see the site owner has added my all-time language pet peeve: "THEN#THAN."

Go back to the site when you have time and look around. It'll help you sharpen your language skills, and it offers a degree of solace to those of us battling for correct word usage, grammar, and all the other matters which SHOULD be important to writers.

I've written a few parodies in my day, usually something short as in a blog post. Parodies can be fun and they can be very effective.

A well-written parody can be an extremely effective way of making a point in a way that moves people to action, brings them to tears, fills them with anger. A column in our local newspaper last February used Valentine's Day to poke fun at those ultra-conservative religious folks who see "satanic attacks" and other forms of deviltry in celebrating such widely accepted holidays as Christmas. In this case, the writer made up and elaborate history of St. Valentine, of the original intent of the holiday being one of honoring God, but condemning modern Valentine's Day observers for "taking St. Valentine out of St. Valentine's Day," a broad shot at all who sound the alarm over "taking Christ out of Christmas."

Whatever your "beliefs" about St. Valentine or Christmas, the parody was written well and did an effective job. In fact, over a three week period following that publication, the newspaper carried a couple of letters from angry readers who were passionately angry at the mockery the column made of Valentine's Day -- they never "got it" that the whole thing was a parody.

Any subject that generates widespread interest, especially if it engenders strong emotion, is fair game for a good parody. You can poke fun at social institutions, such as religion and politics. You can poke fun at self-help gurus, self-help programs, AA, drug treatment centers or any sort of drug rehab, AAA, colleges, customs, sports -- the list of targets is endless.

Have any of you written successful parodies you'd like to share with us? Leave a comment and tell us about it. What are some of your tips for writing parody?

You cannot watch television, read a magazine, do ANYTHING on the Internet, or even just take a walk around most towns without being bombarded by words and their meanings -- words and meanings that shape the way we actually see and regard the world we live in.

Take the city of Las Vegas as an example. The concept of Vegas vacations have changed over the last few decades, largely because of the decisions Las Vegas merchants and the business community there make to reinvent the city. People think about Las Vegas in a certain way, whether they live there or simply travel there for vacations or business. And that perception has been consciously changed regarding the entire city and surrounding area throughout the life of the city.

In the 1950s and '60s, Las Vegas changed from a sleepy desert town to an entertainment/gambling destination. In the 1960s especially, glamorous entertainers and big-name acts were in vogue, i.e., Frank Sinatra and his "Rat Pack" were hot.

But during the 1970s and '80s, as I understand it, the mega hotels with games and a family resort-like atmosphere began to grow. Gambling and casinos never stopped, of course, because that's where the real money is in Vegas. Yet business interests in Vegas changed their advertising and turned (tried to turn) the city into a family fun destination.

Then came the 1990s and recent efforts in the early 2000s -- "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was the slogan that took over, and it was suddenly a fun Sin City again. Currently, most of the advertising I've seen for Las Vegas seems not really clearly defined. They want to keep the "sin city" draw, but they want to appeal to a broader group of tourists, too. The most recent television ads I've seen for Las Vegas show a rather bizarre, screwy bunch of people self-destructing in a beauty salon, with so little identification to Las Vegas that I almost always forget what the ad is for until near the end. (In my opinion, it's a very lame ad campaign, but they never asked for my opinion.)

What's the point of all this? The point is that millions of dollars in revenue and the entire perception of this city of several million people rises and falls on the words used and the way those words are used to portray them. Is that good or bad? Good or bad, it illustrates the reality that words and the way those words are used actually shape reality, or at least our perception of reality.

Be thoughtful about using words today. As a writer, you have great power at your fingertips as they dance across the keyboard. Use that power for good, not evil.

In my last post I made reference to the sad plight our language and our nation may be in if we permit politicians and others in prominence or leadership in the country ignore or arbitrarily change the meaning of our language. I don't want you to think I mean language never, or never should, change the meaning of words and phrases.

The English language, as with all "living," i.e., currently spoken, read, and/or written, languages is constantly changing. But that change only happens as people USE the language, try out changes in meaning or spelling or whatever, and then spread that change. Language meaning or usage does not change "overnight," it changes over time.

For example, look at the word "Hoover." During the early part of the 20th century, the manufacturing company that created and builds Hoover vacuum cleaners became so successful in Great Britain that the word "Hoover" became a British idiom for vacuum cleaners and for vacuuming, and even for doing something quickly and thoroughly. It is still an accepted expression in Britain to say something like: "Hoover the upstairs hallway, would you dear?" or "Wow. He really Hoovered that plate full of pasta didn't he?"

(I have personally heard the term "Hoover" used this way as a noun or verb in the United States.)

Would anyone in Britain or the U.S., however, understand you if you were to use "Oreck" or "Electrolux" or "Eureka" or "Dyson," etc., this way? Of course not.

Language has meaning. Words have meaning. That meaning may or may not change, but such change when it comes generally happens slowly as many speakers of the language accept or reject a particular change.

I have another blog, Just a Guy Who Reads the Papers, where I sound off loudly about various politicians and political foibles. I have tried to keep this site very "apolitical." I think I have succeeded pretty well.

But when I heard the latest idiocy concerning Republican leadership and their "truth squad" attacking Sen. Barack Obama for using the expression "lipstick on a pig" -- they accused him of making a sexist remark aimed at Gov. Sarah Palin -- I was aghast. The account I read said the accusation was being made by a woman who is a former GOP governor of Massachusetts. It appears something was lacking in her education regarding language usage and idioms. The phrase "lipstick on a pig" is a commonly used phrase referring to trying to make something appear different than it actually is. It has NO sexist references to it. Which brings me to the point of this post/"rant": Have we truly lost all touch with reality when it comes to language meaning and usage??

Some years ago, I decided I had found a great way to invest some extra money and make my fortune. (It didn't work.) I took $3,000 I had saved up, went to a futures broker, and opened an account to trade in wheat futures. In the course of this misadventure, two things happened: I learned enough insider "lingo" about futures and commodity trading that I could have written a convincing story about it, and I not only lost my money, I ended up several thousand dollars in the hole.

A great deal of the problems I had with futures investing stemmed from my ignorance of basic terminology. I had read some books about the futures markets, I knew enough to buy and sell contracts, I knew supposedly how to protect myself from sudden market ups and downs. At least I THOUGHT I knew all these things. When the markets actually began to shift rapidly, I was just slow enough to react as I fumbled around and tried to figure out what was going on that I lost my shirt. (See? Another common expression in the English language. I still have my shirt, but metaphorically I "lost" it, along with several thousand dollars.)

If our political leadership in this country, for whatever political party, has become so totally ignorant that "lipstick on a pig" is lambasted as a sexist remark, with apparently no understanding of the idiom itself, then I fear for the Republic.

Language has meaning. When we or our leaders choose to ignore that meaning and make it whatever we or they wish it to be, then we all suffer the consequences.

Whether you're writing fiction or trying to keep the attention of college freshman physics students, take a word of advice my son once gave me: "Blow something up or set something on fire."

In my son's case, he found promising or even implying that good, attentive little students would be allowed to burn something down or blow something up ALWAYS kept their interest. He was a graduate assistant at the time working on his M.S. degree and could get away with it.

In Janet Evanovich's case, it's just almost a trademark move you'll find in her series novels. I've never met Ms. Evanovich, but I would love to. She seems to be a really fun person. Her books are extremely well written and the five or six I've read are funny beyond belief. I challenge you to read one of her Stephanie Plum novels through without literally "laughing out loud" at least two or three times.

In every book of hers that I've read, any time the action slows or the characters seem to be standing around talking -- WHAM! A building blows up, or a car explodes and burns into a charred cinder. I'm not kidding. I cannot recall having read a more hilarious, fun opening for a novel than the first 7-10 pages of her novel "Ten Big Ones." I would highly recommend you read any of her novels in the Stephanie Plum series you can get your hands on. (Caution: They are absolutely "Mature Content" stuff. But we're all big boys and girls here, aren't we?)

If I wore a hat, I'd tip it to the lady. Okay, I do wear an occasional ball cap to keep the rain off my balding head. I'll tip that to Janet Evanovich.

So if you're writing fiction and you feel your characters are getting boring, if the action is just about gone and you need an extra little "spark" to stir the story line up a bit -- burn something down or blow something up. I guarantee you, you'll surprise yourself even. It's a great cure for writer's block.

I haven't posted as often as I would like in recent weeks. I've been preoccupied with a flurry of luxurious European cruises, when I haven't been too busy enjoying my hobbies of snowboarding down Mt. Everest and skydiving over the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Yeah, this adventurous writing lifestyle is so wonderful I can barely keep up with myself.

In reality, I've been keyboarding my stubby fingers down to the first knuckle and acquiring permanent repetitive motion damage to the right side of my body trying to generate some ongoing Internet income through blogging, article writing, and affiliate marketing. (I'm serious about the damage to my right wrist, forearm, bicep, and shoulder. I'm not sure if the "permanent" part is accurate.)

If you want drama and excitement, try marriage and family rearing in today's economy. Thankfully, the family part of that is behind me. The young'uns are well into their 30s and self-sustaining now. In fact, both are doing well. It won't be too many years until their mother and I rely on them to find us a nice "home."

Writing may be one of the most boring, humdrum parts of my life. Most of the writing I do involves cranking out large numbers of words in blog posts or articles focused on products I am trying to sell online via affiliate marketing.

If you are one of the fortunate few among my regular readers who have successfully written books, I congratulate you. I know, too, that the excitement of creating characters and telling stories is only a small part of the just-plain-dogged-determination-and-hard-work you put in to write, sell, and market those books. Good for you.

And good for any of you reading my words who make the job of writing your own. Even at it's most mundane, it still beats W*RK, doesn't it?